Article: Did I Marry The Right Person?

Saw this posted on Facebook by a few friends of mine. Thought it wa worth sharing on this space. Enjoy the read:


DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'

In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer:

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.'

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a decision; not just a feeling.

Remember always this:

'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.'



*On a personal note, I'm glad to have Mei Kuan in my life. Being in a relationship with someone like me isn't the easiest thing in the world, especially when you have this super-phlegmetic-guy-who-always-needs-to-be kicked-in-order-to-move-his-lazy-butt boyfriend.
I'm glad that we've slogged through the tough times, and good times. I'm thankfful that God has provided me with someone who loves me in spite of the way I am, and I'm thankful that I am able to love her in the same way too.

**I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I'll admit that it's partially because of me being lazy, but it's also due to obligations here and there. Can't wait to write about my new job, though!

Giving Your Everything

A rich multi-millionaire walks into a church one day, sits down and says to the man beside him, "12 years ago, I was sitting on this same seat with only a dollar left in my pocket, and I put everything I had into the offering bag. When I walked out the church that day, I met a man who signed me a million-dollar business deal, which had made me the successful person I am today."

The second man replied, "That's a great story. But would you put everything you have today into that same offering bag?"

Would YOU?

NEW Blog Title!

I finally decided to change my blog title and tagline after weeks of procrastination. I could have said that I've been busy with my new job, but that would just be me giving lame excuses.

Thanks, Nick and Klieo for the feedback to my proposal.

Anyway, do leave some comments on whether you like or dislike the new change.

On a side note, here's a picture of me 'skydiving' without a parachute.

"Hooray!"

Yea, yea, I know I'm lame. You don't have to point out the obvious.

Of Love And Poetry

I used to think that love makes the best poets out of the most ordinary people;
But it was not long after I met you, that I realised that true love makes the dumbest of people out of the best poets.

Here's to us.

Reaching Out

Photo from Truth Finder

You can't help those who don't want to be helped, but you could at least reach out a hand and hope that they grab on eventually.

-RC-

The Bridge

I discovered this short movie quite awhile back and have already shared this movie with quite a few people. The title of the movie in Polish, Most, translated to English would mean The Bridge.

This movie is adapted from a true story about a man named John Griffith, who was a railroad bridgemaster. Although the characters in the movie do not directly portray the actual story about this person, it is adapted from the famous story which was inspired by this man's life.

In the 1930’s John worked as the controller of a huge railroad bridge across the Mississippi River. Every day at certain scheduled times the huge bridge was raised so that barges and other ships might make their way down the river. And according to a schedule, John would lower the bridge so that the freight and passenger trains could rush across.

In the summer of 1937, John Griffith took his then eight-year-old son with him to work for the first time. The boy was excited to watch the big railroad bridge and the trains & boats, and also to see the control house with all kinds of levers over which his daddy had absolute control.

His father took him to an observation deck so that he could watch the boats and trains go by. At noon John put the bridge up to let some ships go by since there would not be a train coming for awhile. He made his way to the observation deck where the two of them had lunch.

Just as John was telling a long story about the trains & boats, he was startled by the shrieking of a train whistle in the distance. He quickly looked at his watch and noticed that it was 1:07.

In the midst of his story telling he had forgotten that the passenger train - the express for Memphis with 400 passengers on board - would soon be roaring across that bridge.

Without panic but very quickly he leaped from the observation deck and ran back to the control tower. He placed his hand upon the massive iron controls and started to close the bridge. But before pulling the lever, he glanced down beneath the bridge to see if there were any ships beneath it.

There a sight caught his eye that made nearly made his heart stop.

His son had slipped from the observation deck and had fallen into the huge gears that operate the bridge. Though the boy was still alive and conscious, his left leg was caught in the cogs of the main gears! John knew that if he pulled that lever his son would be crushed.

His eyes filled with tears of panic, and his head was spinning. What he could do was to take a rope, rush to the observation tower, tie it and lower himself into the gear box, free his son, bring him back up to the observation deck, and make his way quickly back to the control tower to lower the bridge.

But no sooner had he thought it, than he knew there was no way he could do it in time for the train.

Again, closer than ever, the train whistle sounded. He could hear the wheels clicking over the tracks and the puffing of the engine.

But that was his son!

Yet there were 400 passengers on that train which was roaring toward the bridge. But John Griffith was a father and that was his boy!

He knew what he had to do so he buried his head in his left arm and pulled the master lever.

That massive bridge lowered into place just as the Memphis Express roared across the Mississippi.

When he lifted his head with his face smeared with tears, he looked into the passing windows of the train.

There were businessmen casually reading their afternoon papers, uniformed conductors looking at their large vest-pocket watches, well-dressed ladies in the dining car sipping coffee, and children pushing long spoons into the dishes of ice cream.

No one looked at the control house and no one looked at the great gear box.

With wrenching agony, John Griffith cried out at the train, "I sacrificed my son for you! Don't you care?" But nobody heard. They never even looked up from their newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream.

In the same way, the Son of God has been sacrificed so that we might have eternal life.

Will we look up from our newspapers, watches, coffee and ice cream?

Taken from http://www.goarch.org/

Here's a fan-made video adapted from the original movie:

Random Banter

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